Twenty and Twenty-three

🌸 Twenty, Twenty-three

A reflection on youth, love, and the seasons of family life.

Love in Youth, Seen Through a Parent’s Eyes

Love in youth is always fresh and radiant. At twenty and twenty-three, two young hearts are drawn together, while a parent watches with both worry and a quiet smile. In each season of life, our stories intertwine.

Street mural in Korea — symbolizing the freshness of youth and the connection between generations

The Season of His Youth

This year, my youngest son graduated from college and moved back home. Suddenly, I found myself cooking again. When it was just my husband and me, simple dishes were enough. But at twenty-three, his appetite demanded more — rice, meat, snacks, even protein shakes.

The return of an adult child, often referred to as a **"Boomerang Kid"** or **"Returoo"** in modern sociology, creates a unique reversal of the **Empty Nest** phase. This transition isn't just a logistical change; it's a significant psychological shift for the whole family. For the parent, the re-engagement with daily nurturing roles—like preparing substantial, youth-demanded meals—can feel like an unexpected return to a familiar, yet outgrown, chapter. This new dynamic requires establishing flexible boundaries. While providing emotional and economic support, both parent and adult child must navigate the delicate balance between newfound independence and the intimacy of cohabitation to ensure healthy, reciprocal growth.

My older son and daughter already live on their own, and even cooking for my husband sometimes feels like a chore. But here I am again, back in my role as a mother. I tell him, “Make your own food,” but aside from scrambled eggs and fried Spam, his cooking skills go no further — so I remain tied to the kitchen for now.

When He Fell in Love

By early summer, my son began coming home late. One day, he finally confessed — he had a girlfriend. At twenty-three and twenty, they were young, tender, and full of spring energy. Soon, he brought her home, and laughter began to fill the living room again. Part of me worried — he still felt so young. A quieter part wished he would meet someone older, already settled in life. But then I reminded myself — they’re simply twenty and twenty-three. So I quietly turned off my “mother-in-law mode.”

This moment, where you "quietly turned off my 'mother-in-law mode,'" is a profound point of maturation for the family. It touches on the psychological process of **releasing parental control** and accepting the adult child's identity as a separate romantic and social being. This challenge is magnified when the adult child is still living at home (the Boomerang Kid). It demands a transition from the **parental management style** to a **consultative, adult-to-adult relationship**, which is crucial for the child's successful transition into full adulthood. The parent's struggle with letting go of their "worries" and "wishes" about who the son *should* be with, and embracing who he *chooses* to be with, perfectly illustrates the final frontier of the Empty Nest adjustment.

Street mural symbolizing young love observed from a gentle parental perspective

Let Them Love, Let Me Remember

They aren’t talking about marriage — only love. And who am I to stand in the way of that? Love isn’t something to calculate. I don’t want my children to live inside the boundaries of my plans.

So love, my son — freely, beautifully, fearlessly. Cherish this gift that youth has placed in your hands. The spring of youth is always short and never returns.

The Seasons We Each Live

We each live in the seasons of our own lives. I live mine, my son lives his, and my aging parents live theirs. Even my hardened heart softens, stirred by the fragrance of young love — enough to smile again. 🌱


🍃 Life Seasons Series

Stories about family, love, and time — how generations share one continuous season of life.

#LifeSeasons #InnerJourney #JaclynBae #FamilyEssays #SeasonsOfLove

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