Letting go

Letting Go — An Inner Journey by Jaclyn Bae
A quiet sunset scene symbolizing letting go and new beginnings

Letting Go

A story of trembling between the comfort of routine and the call to begin again — loosening what feels safe to make room for a new life.

When Life Asks for Change

My husband decided to step away from the work he had been doing for years. He’s not that old, and given our situation, it wasn’t a decision we could make lightly. But he felt the pull toward starting again somewhere new — toward a different life.

What should he do? Where should we go? In our mid-fifties, beginning again feels risky; yet doing nothing feels equally wrong. When he first said he wanted to quit, I understood. His job had been wearing him down for so long. A new direction felt right for him.

When the Ground Beneath Me Trembled

But once it actually happened, anxiety rushed in. My world began to tremble. Suddenly, the later years of my life felt uncertain and fragile.

He longed for change; I longed for familiarity. I wanted a gentle life — planting flowers and vegetables, meeting people I enjoy, and growing old in quiet, daily contentment. I had finally found a rhythm that soothed me. The thought of breaking it felt overwhelming.

Still, looking at the man who had worked tirelessly for decades, I couldn’t stay selfish. I told him, “You’ve done so much — do what you want.” But deep inside, anxiety, doubt, and helplessness continued to rise. After more than thirty years here, this place had become the center of my world. The thought of losing it terrified me.

Remembering My Own Beginning

As I packed my art supplies into storage boxes, a sadness settled in. “When will I ever open these again?” I wondered. A wave of fear came — a feeling of disappearing, of my life quietly collapsing inward.

Then a gentle realization surfaced: This place wasn’t my original home either. At twenty-two, I arrived with two bags and a determination to build a life in a foreign land. Perhaps those difficult early years left a mark — a lingering hesitation toward new beginnings. Maybe I’ve been using age as an excuse to stay where it feels safe.

Letting Go Is a Form of Faith

Letting go is not giving up — it is trusting. Trusting that what waits beyond uncertainty may carry a new kind of grace. Letting go means loosening my grip on what was, and opening my heart to what might be.

Maybe this new chapter is not an ending at all, but an invitation — to rediscover life’s movement, to return to beginnings with gentler eyes.

A Quiet Prayer to Release

Let it go. Set down what I’ve been clinging to. Empty myself. Dismantle the fortress I’ve built and step forward. It won’t be easy, but whatever fills the emptied space may become a new life.


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