Bucket List and Duck It List

Bucket List and Duck It List: Living Less Falsely

"Not to live more intensely, but to live less falsely." 

 

                                                A park bench on a winter day

                                                From a life of filling to a life of emptying, my Duck it list


I have always kept a journal. I write down what I did yesterday, what I need to do today, and sometimes what I hope to do someday. At the beginning of a new year, I make plans. At the end of the year, I look back and plan again. Like many people, this rhythm has shaped my life. 

“What do I really want to do?”  

I have asked myself this question many times, often by writing a Bucket List. Traveling to beautiful places, enjoying good food in meaningful settings, seeing and experiencing beautiful things.  

Some of these dreams required time and money. Others were simple and could be done anytime—like waking up early and meditating in the morning sunlight. Some took years of patience. My desire to make ceramics, for instance, took nearly two years of classes before my work finally began to resemble real art. That time and effort remain deeply embedded in my life. 

From crossing the United States via Route 66 to dreaming of a month-long stay on Jeju Island, my life has been a collection of these pursuits. Looking back on 55 years, I realize I have accomplished more than I once thought possible. It truly feels like a full life.

The Shift: From "What More?" to "How?"

Lately, however, a different kind of question has surfaced. Not “What more should I do?” but rather, “How do I want to live from here on?”

When I was younger, I followed what others suggested—my mother’s advice, my friends' choices—often feeling invisible and unsure. I faced disappointment and was told I lacked persistence. But looking back now, I realize I wasn’t failing—I was eliminating.

By trying things, I learned what didn’t fit me. I discovered I don’t thrive in rigid structures; I crave freedom. Instead of clearly knowing what I wanted, I gradually discovered what I did not want. By letting those things go, what truly mattered quietly remained.

Embracing the "Duck It List"

That is why the idea of a Duck It List resonated with me. It is not a list of things to achieve, but a list of things I no longer need to force myself to do. It’s about ducking away from the noise and the "shoulds" that drain our spirit.

At first, I wondered: “Is this selfish?” For those of us raised to believe that endurance is goodness and sacrifice is love, saying "no" feels like a betrayal. As a Christian, I initially felt a sense of guilt, as if "I will not do this anymore" was an act of disobedience.

A Faith That Breathes

But when I reflect on Scripture, I see a different pattern. Jesus did not respond to every demand. In Mark 1:35, we see Him withdrawing to a solitary place to pray, stepping away from the expectations of the crowds. He did not carry every burden placed on Him by others.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

This command carries an essential premise: the self is also worthy of love. Forced sacrifice, obedience driven by fear, and devotion motivated by a need for approval are not the essence of faith. Perhaps a Duck It List is not a rejection of faith, but a confession—a decision to no longer practice false obedience before God.

Walking Lightly

So now, alongside my Bucket List, I write my Duck It List. I am no longer asking what more I can endure, but what quietly drains my life—whether it's an obligation to attend meetings that lack soul or the habit of staying silent when I should speak my truth.

I felt lighter the moment I wrote it down. Understanding what I love and what I no longer wish to carry is a step toward a wiser way of living.

Perhaps a Bucket List is a question of youth. And perhaps a Duck It List is the question I need now.

Not to live more intensely, but to live less falsely.

What is on your Duck It List today?

Is there a "false obligation" or a draining habit you are ready to let go of? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Photo of an elderly couple strolling through the winter forest
                                             
                                                





    

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